I'm in Auckland and I have space to write

I'm in Auckland and I have space to write. I forgot that I have all this space in the internet to write down the things in my head, those everyday murmurs. I forgot that this place exists and that I am a part of it. I forgot that I came from somewhere. I forgot that I have my own story to remember.

I arrived here in Auckland on the 28th of September 2010. It was a 14-hour flight from Manila, and it was my first time to travel country to country on my own. I must have muttered a few hundred words during the entire transfer, with more words repeated over and over. I thought I was mute and that I can only communicate by hand."Yes", "No". These are the easiest things to say. It becomes difficult when you have to decide on a question that may change the course of your life. "What would you have for dinner, sir?" "Yes." And then I would not eat the meat she just handed. I thought to compromise my beliefs. After all, it's a long flight. I ate the side dishes. And I was alright.

I flew on a Monday, by Thai Airways to Bangkok. The airport I left from in Manila was suddenly dwarfed and ancient, compared to this grandiose of Suvarnabhumi in Bangkok. I kept looking up because the building never ended. It went on and on down and up to the points of view. I felt like a country mouse in big city. But beneath the awe and wonder, I am always scared of unfamiliar places at first. I get nervous and tight and cracked up. I stop walking and step aside, and I breathe, until everything slows down to silence where I am alone and become peaceful in confidence. I open my eyes, then they become familiar, and then I adapt.

Here, Auckland

I'm here. In Auckland. I hope it gets to be good down here.

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The weather is terrible for me, for the fact that I love the heat in the tropics. But I can walk all day here with no sweat. I've started to smoke more, to keep heat. The air is so fresh I need to smoke to balance it all in.

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School has already started. I look old, but there are others like me, wondering of a good future in a new land. I am lucky to where I am now.